Hell's Liberals

February 14th, 2003

By Alan Clark

   It should come as no surprise to anyone that the Hell's Angels and the Liberal Party of Canada are mortal enemies. The reason for this is simple. The liberals hate competition. While they have been very effective in neutralizing the Reformers, the NDP, the Conservatives and the Bloc, the one competitor the liberals just can't seem to deal with is the Hell's Angels.

   Here in Canada, the Angels are personified in Maurice "Mom" Boucher, leader of the Montreal based Nomads. Mr. Boucher collects taxes on transactions involving drugs and whores. The liberals tax everything else. With the revelations following the report of the auditor general, it appears that the Angels and liberals also compete in the field of money laundering. We'll just have to wait and see if the liberals are as effective at witness tampering.

   So long as we all recognize that the country is being run by a criminal gang, why shouldn't we open it up to all criminal gangs and give the Hell's Angels the opportunity to bring their own unique brand of governance to the federal political arena? Are we worried that Mom Boucher might be more dictatorial? Less democratic perhaps? More corrupt? When you consider that fewer of Mom Boucher's Nomads have been imprisoned than Brian Mulroney's cabinet ministers, it's reasonable to assume that nothing would change. Our Prime Minister would still be a French-speaking Quebecer who allows no deviation from his implicit instructions. In fact, this one has reputedly killed those who have opposed him.

   At least in that, there is an upside.